Post by papredoll on Sept 6, 2009 19:41:11 GMT -5
The Queen of plagiarism, racism and exclamation points? I think not!
By Amber Browne!!!
What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
I firmly believe these wise words of mine and, oh, sorry – I just had this note handed to me. It says "careful, the above words were first said by Adolph Hitler."
Well, excuse me to all you liberals who accuse me of stealing words and ideas.
Think again!!!
It isn't plagiarism just because you use the same words somebody else said or wrote before and try to pass them off as your own.
(Plagiarism according to dictionary.com: "the unauthorized use or close imitation of the language and thoughts of another author and the representation of them as one's own original work.")
You see? How can I be a plagiarist? I've never had an original thought in my life!
Look here, buster, I've been in the newspaper business many years and I think I know a thing or two. I know all about this attribution business.
(Attribution according to dictionary.com: "Repentance for sin motivated by fear of punishment rather than by the love of God.")
Oh sorry, I just had this note handed to me -- "Amber, that's the definition of "attrition," not "attribution."
Well, what's the big deal? Anyway, that gives me another idea for a weird and completely uninformed rant: God and the ACLU.
The ACLU wants to make our children eat rats and vote Democrat. That's a FACT, documented by Fox News. You think I'm going to stand aside while the ACLU tries to prevent the ONE TRUE RELIGION from being forced down the throats of our children, from trying to prevent discrimination against anyone who doesn't have the exact same religious thoughts I do?
I think not!!!!
Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that Obama is Satan and he's trying to turn us all into rappers with baggy shorts. If you can't see that by now, then you're not part of My America!
And to all you liberals and Communists who say I hate black people just because I use loaded euphemisms to denigrate them every chance I get, I say to you I don't even know what a "loaded euphemism" is.
Look, I'm just a simple-minded country gal who's never been out of Madison County. I believe in God, country and Glenn Beck, not necessarily in that order.
I believe in free speech as long as I agree with what you're saying. I believe in the Constitution as long as I can interpret it to mean what I think I'm trying to say.
And don't even get me started on health care reform. Those government goons aren't getting their clammy hands on MY granny!!!!
If you can't afford ridiculously expensive health insurance, GET A JOB! There's plenty of them out there! Nobody's forcing you to be healthy. Those obscenely wealthy insurance companies and big pharmaceutical firms have our best interests at heart.
People, with that Muslim in charge, (he was born in Kenya, wasn't he?) this country is headed in the wrong direction. We have to stop all his attempts to help average Americans by SHOUTING LOUDER THAN THEY CAN!
In closing, I'd just like to point out that some people laugh at all the exclamation points I use. Well, let me tell you they are a valuable literary tool -- they're great to use when you feel strongly about issues you don't really understand!
Until then, see you around town!
(This is satire)
